Math in real life

Bamboo,
originally uploaded by mamawitch.

This is the bamboo in my garden. As you can see, it is corralled and corseted in ways it probably doesn't like. I am in the process of relocating it because where it was just wasn't working aesthetically. For those who prefer their plants in Latin, this is Phyllostachys bissetti from New England Bamboo. (http://www.newengbamboo.com/.) I got this plant several years ago and according to the folks at New England Bamboo, this variety of 'running' bamboo is only supposed to saunter in these northern climes. Absolutely controllable through regular mowing. That's the theory. There must have been a disclaimer in micro print somewhere, something like "unless planted in optimum soil conditions." Nine months after planting, I discovered just how happy my bamboo was the morning I almost broke a toe on one of the shoots - eight feet from the mother plant. On closer inspection, they were all over the place! And here's the kicker (pardon the pun), each of those shoots could be separated from the rest of the runner and planted, growing eventually into a clump of its own. Now, I have an elderly neighbor who worships the smooth, uninterrupted, uncorrupted green that is her lawn and at least two of those runners had made a beeline for her yard. Part one of crisis management: remove all runners. Part two: corrall mother plant. Part one = labor intensive and partially completed by flashlight after elderly neighbor had gone to bed (no lie). Part two involved the largest garbage bin I could find. Just for reference, it's 4 feet deep. Part two also involved sinking the bin into a 4 foot hole that I had dug, falling into it (the hole, not the bin) at least twice. After repotting (rebinning?) the bamboo has been contented. Enter the need for relocation. A crane would have been the best tool choice to accomplish this, but I don't have a crane. I had: a climbing rope (about 24'), two shovels (one short, one long), a 2x4 (3'), a heavy duty chain (4'), 8 bricks and a Jeep Wrangler (1994, 2 door). Also, a lifelong fascination with how the Greeks, Romans and Ancient Egyptians maneuvered large heavy objects. Leverage. That was the key. Precise positioning of the bricks (after a suitably large amount of soil removal) coupled with coordinated leveraging and pulling. Also crucial was the angle of leverage and pull. Did I mention that this was planted beside a fence, betwixt trees and therefore had to be pulled out and immediately turned to get through a gateway? My math teachers were way off the mark - I am not inept at math!